Never Been Kissed(9)

By: C.M Kars

“Who the fuck are you? What are you doing?” Hunter yells in my face, eyes glassy and unfocused. I ignore him, keeping my arms around his waist. His hands are on my shoulders, following them down to my arms, trying to unwind me. I snarl at him, and the show of aggression calms him down some, just enough time for me to get his kid out here.

“KID! KID! COME HERE, NOW!” I holler, knowing that if I let the giant bastard go, we’re not going anywhere. I want to respect his wishes, but if shit comes down to it, I’m calling the ambulance. I don’t even care if he’s going to be the shittiest neighbour ever.

A little head pokes out of Hunter’s apartment, and I’m shocked all over again how much he looks like his Dad. “Kid, get your shoes on, now. You gotta be quick. HURRY!” I feel bad that I’m yelling at him, but the kid listens. “Close the door, lock it. Good. Grab the keys. Let’s go.” I don’t know why the kid knows how to lock a door, but it sure comes in handy.

“Get the elevator, please.” The little guy runs to jab the down button. I figure if I keep Hunter against the wall for as long as possible we’ll be okay. The doors’ll take a minute to close anyway, and if I waddle over fast enough to get him into the elevator, we’ll be good.

The kid does as he’s told. I wonder if he’s as scared as I am. Is this normal behavior for his Dad? I will not vomit, I will not vomit. Elevator chimes – the most beautiful sound in the world. I pull on Hunter, who stumbles forward to my backward walk. I quickly pivot and give him my back, using my thighs to keep him upright while his feet are struggling to find the ground. His chest hits my upper back, and his arms squeeze around my waist.

I ignore it. The poor guy doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“Kid! Get in!” I pant, when I’ve got Hunter situated in a corner. It’s not lost on me that we’re in a reversed position I saw him in with his girl. Where is that bitch anyway? This is her job!

“Is Daddy tired again?” the little guy asks, after pushing for the basement. He’s not scared, he sounds only curious. I nod, hoping he won’t start with a millions why’s. “I’m Matty.”

I clear my throat, watching the numbers above the door crawl down to the basement. “Hi, Matty. I’m Sera. I found your Dad. We’re gonna take his keys, and we’re gonna drive him to the hospital, ok? He’ll get better there.”

“Okay.” Matty’s too calm about all of this. Freaks me out. I mean, I’m glad he’s not wailing, or shrieking, but this tranquility’s getting me nervous. Like this kinda thing happens all the time, and he understands what’s going on. Christ, how old is he?

The elevator doors open and I’m in trouble. I haven’t thought this far ahead.


“A4, Sera. The blue Honda is Daddy’s.” I swallow past the pain in my throat. How many times has this asshole done this to his kid? Ugh.

“Awesome. Okay, do you know how to unlock the doors?” The car beeps three times, unlocking the front and the back of a blue car twenty feet away from us. Totally doable. Right? Right? “Of course you do. Alright, get the front door open. I’m going to drive.”

Matty does as he’s told, running ahead, and getting the passenger side open. God, this asshole weighs a ton. Bastard probably has a whole protein diet, protein shake thing going on. I grunt with every step as he stays glued to my back, wondering if I’m going to pop a knee and Matty’ll have to drag both our sorry asses to the car.

Hunter keeps making little hurt sounds in his throat, little whimpers and unintelligible noises I can’t make out as anything in English. At least he’s not fighting me anymore.

Pivoting around when we finally get to the car, I end up sitting on his lap, manoeuvring him how I want in the passenger’s seat. Scrambling off, grunting with exertion, I get his long legs into the car, half-crawling over him to get his seat belt on. I shut the door, only to see Matty sitting in his car seat.

This thing is NASA-sanctioned. I can’t figure out the snaps and where they’re supposed to go. Matty helps me, pointing out where buckles snap into locks, and where the straps tighten. I start the car, hoping we’ve got at least a quarter tank of gas.

Amazing. I screech out of the underground parking lot, almost drifting around the corner Fast and the Furious 3 style, almost taking out another car’s mirror. Whatever. I woulda paid for that. Flooring the gas pedal, we get out of the fluorescent –lit parking lot and into the daylight.

“Hunter? HUNTER!” I yell, Charlie-horsing his thigh with my fist. He yelps. Good. “We’re going to the hospital like you asked. We’ll be there in fifteen.” He nods absently, and his head falls back against the headrest. I keep sneaking glances at him, as I burn through three stop signs in a row. He’s gone and closed his eyes, barely breathing.

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